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 Preparing Your Child for Your Family Vacation


Are you taking your child on vacation before school starts up?  Is your child anxious about this new experience?  Here are some suggestions to help lessen your child’s anxiety and make this a great family vacation.

1)      Write a Social Story™ to help your child understand where you are going, what you will be doing and what the "expected behaviors" will be to help increase your child's understanding of this new situation.  Add real pictures of your vacation destination to the story to give your child visuals of the vacation spot and vacation activities.

2)      Go online with your child and browse websites about your vacation destination.

3)      Write a daily schedule with your child to help him better understand the structure and activities of each day.

4)      Come up with "flexible challenges" to help your child overcome uncomfortable situations.

5)      Let your child know solutions to possible problems that may come up during your trip.  Have a plan in case a problem arises to help lessen your child’s anxiety.  For example, if your child has issues with waiting in line, plan to use a wrist watch as a visual cue to help your child know how long the wait will be.

Social StoryTM is a registered trademark of Carol Gray.

 Back to School Tip – Part #1



1)     Start taking your child to her school to play on the playground in the next coming weeks.  This will help your child become either reacquainted with her old school or start to become acquainted with her new school.

2)      Put a calendar in your child’s room or on the refrigerator and start crossing off each day until school begins.

3)      If your child is very anxious about the upcoming school year, call your child’s school and ask the principal if you could bring your child in for weekly visits to see the inside of the school.

4)      Make sure you go to the teacher’s open house to visit your child’s classroom and hopefully meet your child’s teachers and classmates.  If your teacher is not having an open house, request one!

5)      During the open house, take your digital camera and take pictures of your child’s teachers, principal, secretary, etc.  Also, take pictures of various locations in the school such as your child’s classroom, cafeteria, playground, art room, library, etc.  When you get home make a “Back to School Book” with your child. Use the real pictures and write what each picture is – your child can help you do this.

 

 Back to School Tip:  Part 2

Is your child anxious about going back to school?  This is the second Tip in a 2-part series to help lessen your child’s anxiety and make your child's return to school a positive experience.

1)      Make going to buy your child’s school supplies a fun activity:

  1. Review with your child what supplies he needs for the upcoming school year.
  2. Make a supply list with your child: you could write the supplies in list form or have your child write the supply list. If your child is better with pictures use weekly circulars and cut out supply pictures or go to www.google.com and use their images
  3. Take your child to the store with you and have your child find the supplies from his list.
  4. You can take this a step further and take a calculator with you and figure out how much the supplies will cost.

2)      Write a Social Story™ about going back to school.  Use the pictures you took from the Open House to insert into the story.  Here is an example of a story:

Vacation was so much fun!  I really enjoyed going to ____________ .  School begins on __________ .  I am going into the ____________ grade.  My teacher knows all about me and can't wait to meet me.  Her name is _____________ .  I might know some friends in my class, but I will also make new friends.  I can't wait for ___________ (library, gym, reading... whatever your child enjoys).  It's good to go to school, because I get to learn and play with my friends.


 Social StoryTM is a registered Trademark of Carol Gray.


 Homework Tip



School is about to start as is the homework!  Getting back into a homework routine is very important for your child as is establishing a homework routine for a child who is just entering elementary school.  Help reduce your child’s anxiety and yours by following some of these tips:

 

1)    Set a time that is consistent every day.  Make sure the time works for you and your child.  Some parents like to get homework out of the way as soon as their child gets home while other children need to unwind from their busy school day and complete homework after dinner.

2)    Make sure your child does his homework in the same location each day.  Have a quiet area for your child with limited distractions (away from siblings, television, etc.).  Making sure the area has everything your child needs: pencil, eraser, calculator, crayons, markers, ruler, etc. will help eliminate distractions.

3)    If your child has a lot of anxiety about homework, talk with your child’s teacher about coming up with a homework plan.  Example: start out with one homework assignment for a week or until complete success has been mastered and then gradually increase homework.  If your child completes homework successfully, offer small rewards for a great job!  Your child’s teacher could work with you and your child on receiving rewards.  Maybe a “homework pass” could be earned for a week of great homework!

4)    Homework should be at your child’s independent level!

5)    If accommodations and adaptations are being made to your child’s curriculum, these accommodations and adaptations should be made to your child’s homework.  Ask for explanation on homework items that come home that you are unclear on how to explain to your child.

6)    If your child’s teacher is using teaching aids to help your child learn a concept, make sure those aids are also sent home for your child to use.

7)   If homework is taking too long, use a timer.  Once you figure out how long an assignment generally takes your child, set a timer and make the expectation that the assignment needs to be finished in the time set. 




 The School Bus

 

I have learned through my years of teaching that the school bus can be problematic the first couple weeks of school until all the kinks are worked out.  In the meantime, here are some suggestions for your child:

1.  Make sure you go over the school bus rules with your child. Write them down or use pictures and post the rules for your child. Go over these rules daily until your child knows exactly what is expected of him.

2.  Ask your child’s teacher and the school bus driver to go over the school bus rules with your child.

3.  If your child is riding the bus for over an hour to school and back again, this could be very stressful for your child.  Here are some suggestions.

  • Write down daily for the first week of school exactly when your child is picked up and dropped off. Ask your child’s teacher when your child arrived at school and at what time the bus picked your child up at the end of the day.  Keep track of these times to discuss with transportation.

  • Call transportation and ask if there is any way to decrease this time on the bus.  (Many times it takes the driver a week or longer to figure out the schedule and then the time on the bus for your child will decrease.) 

  • If after a week or so the time is still long and there is no solution in sight, discuss the issue with your child’s teacher and your child’s special education supervisor and / or school principal.

  • I have found that the most effective way for changes to be made with bus issues is by having the teacher, the parent and the special education supervisor and/or school principal call to discuss the problematic amount of time on the school bus with transportation.

4.  Make sure your child has toys or books on the bus to keep him busy.  You can ask the bus driver to keep these toys on the bus (if it is the same bus in the morning and afternoon) so they are not a problem in school.  If your child needs to take the toys/books into school, let the teacher know so she can put them away immediately so they are not problematic for the school day.

5.  Ask the bus driver to give your child an assigned seat so she knows where she will be sitting everyday on the bus. 

 

 The Fire Drill

 

Well the school year has started (and hopefully it has been successful for all of your children), and yes, the dreaded fire alarm will be sounding off soon!   What can you do for your child to help lessen his anxiety of the fire drill?

1)         First, make sure your child’s teacher knows exactly when each fire drill will occur during the school year.  Ask her for the schedule.

2)         Have your child’s teacher go over the fire drill rules with your child so he knows what is expected.  A social story can be written to explain fire drill procedures to your child (reasons why fire drills are performed / what the procedure is for the school building / what their expected behaviors should be / what would happen if they did not have expected fire drill behaviors).

3)        The day of the fire drill, make sure the rules are discussed, practice exactly what is expected of the children, and model for the children. Have a “pretend” fire drill for the entire class so everyone knows exactly what is expected of them.  When writing the “rules”, you can write them out in a task analysis form with pictures.

4)         If the child is extremely afraid of the fire drill, have the child go outside before the alarm goes off.  The child can watch the other children come out of the building and see what the process is for the school building.

5)        Each month, gradually increase your expectations of the child who is extremely afraid of the drill / sound of alarm.  For example, for the second fire drill, have the child stand by the door to go outside with headphones on his ears.  Once the alarm goes off, the child can immediately exit the building.  (Make sure you are discussing the fire drill on a weekly basis and role play / model if needed.)

6)        The next month, the child can stand by the door to go outside without his headphones on his head. 

7)        Each month the child can stand a bit further from the door in hopes of getting him to the classroom and walking out with his classmates.

I had a student that was so terrified of the fire drill that we had to take extreme baby steps during the school year.  By following the steps above, he became successful with the fire drill. During the later months of the school year, when he was showing great progress, as a motivator, I let him walk with the custodian during the fire drill (the custodian had important jobs during the drill, which this student thought were great) – this was of course done with the principal’s permission.  The next month, he walked with the principal during the fire drill to make sure all the children / staff members were in the correct areas.  The last month of school, this student was able to independently complete the fire drill by himself with no warning when the drill was going to occur. 

 Picture Day

Picture Day is right around the corner, so here are some techniques to make this year’s picture a good one:
  
  • Start practicing at home and in school the week before picture day. 
  • Don’t have your child wear new clothes or something he or she is not used to wearing on Picture Day.  This will only cause problems.  If the outfit is new, have your child try it on at home and wear it around the house for a bit so he or she can be comfortable in the outfit.  (This also goes for new hair dos.  Girls tend to get easily distracted by new hair accessories, and boys tend to get distracted by hair gel.)  
  • Use an actual camera with a flash and a supplemental light source such as a flashlight so your child has an understanding of how much light will be on his face during the photo.
  • The one thing I noticed that really bothers the children on picture day is how much light is shining on them.
  • Have your child practice sitting in a chair (without a back if possible).  Each year, chairs without a back always threw my kids off (especially if it had wheels on it)!
  • Don’t have your child say words like “cheese” or “pizza”, because, rather than smiling, your child will be making sure he is saying the word - and that is what will come out in the photograph.
  • Encourage your child to smile in front of a mirror so he can see what he looks like when he smiles.  I usually cued my students with, “Let me see you laugh”, because this received a more realistic smile.
  • To have your child / student look in the correct area, I always brought a fun toy with me and stood next to the camera with it so the child knew where to look.  (I used this toy while practicing during the week in the classroom so he was familiar with it.)
  • As the teacher, practice these techniques in school with your students every day for a week or so before Picture Day.  (It only takes 5 minutes at the end of the day, and it is worth a great smile!)  If possible, practice in the same location the pictures will be taken.
  • Take digital pictures of your child / students using various prompts to see which one works best and gets the best smile.  Show your child / student and have him pick which picture he thinks he looks best in and which one was not so good.
  • Write a social story about how Picture Day will work and what the expectations are of your child / student.  Be very specific!!
  • Usually Picture Day takes place in the gym or cafeteria with many classes – this can be completely overwhelming for your child / student.  Ask your principal to schedule your students first thing in the morning before things get too busy.  (You could also ask to be scheduled last, but then you have to worry about keeping your kids clean all day!!)
  • I always went and talked to the photographers as they were setting up to prepare for the photo shoot.  This was key!!!  Find the one photographer who has the most patience and is willing to work with you.  (There is always one photographer who will go the extra mile.)  
  • If your class photo is scheduled at a time when there is going to be a lot of distraction, noise, etc., have your paraprofessional or the class teacher that goes before your class let you know at the last possible minute when it is your class’ turn.  This way your kids are not getting overwhelmed and over stimulated prior to the picture.
  • If time allows, have the photographer show your child / student his or her picture.
  • And if these techniques do not work on Picture Day, there is always Retake Day :)!
 Having Fun with Cooking Tip

Since I am practically addicted to some reality TV shows and last night was the season finales of Top Chef and Master Chef (which I still have not watched yet, so please don’t tell me who won), I thought it would be fun to talk about cooking this week.  During my years of teaching, my favorite class activity was cooking.  Every Friday afternoon, we would complete a cooking activity that was always related to our thematic unit or what we were learning in the mainstream.  Cooking is a wonderful activity because it incorporates language, reading, following directions, math, conversational skills, turn taking, functioning skills and so on.

There are many ways you can incorporate cooking into your child’s life.  Here are a few suggestions on how to do this:
  • Have your child make his or her own lunch. Give your child two choices of sandwiches to make. Once your child chooses his or her sandwich type, ask your child what he or she will need to make this type of sandwich.  If your child needs visual cues – go to Google images – and print out pictures of what the sandwich ingredients are: bread, peanut butter, jelly, lunch meats, mayo, etc….  (Keep all your pictures in a box to keep them organized so you don’t have to frequently print out pictures.)  Let your child find the correct pictures of what he or she needs.  Once he or she has success with this, have him/her find the actual items in the refrigerator and put them on the counter/table (wherever it is you are making the sandwich).  I find sitting at a table is best.  If your child needs help making the sandwich, write out the directions of what he or she needs to do.  Adding pictures to the directions will help those children who require visual cues.  Start out with one step at a time in the beginning if needed and then work up to making the entire sandwich.  Make sure you are asking your child lots of questions while making the sandwich, such as:  What ingredients are needed?, What happens next?, What colors are the foods?, Where do you place things?, Why do you need certain ingredients?, How does it taste?, etc.


  • Have your child make fun holiday foods.  There are lots of recipes on the internet which you can find--or be creative!!!  (Use the steps above to make these items.)


  • During a play date, making fun food items is an excellent activity to keep the kids interested, increase conversational skills among the children, and work on cooperation skills and turn taking.  Use the ideas above such as: have a recipe for each child, let the children find the ingredients, etc.

There are many cookbooks for children that have recipes made up with pictures.  See the example recipe (which is written for primary age students).  Example recipe

 Social Skills – Eye Contact Tip

For the next few weeks, I will be writing tips related to teaching social skills.  To teach social skills, you must teach communication skills, and good communication starts with eye contact.

When teaching a child to make eye contact, you need to teach him that your eyes let your conversation partner know who or what you are thinking about.  Eye contact also lets the person you are talking to know that you are interested in them and / or listening to them.
 
When teaching eye contact, DO NOT teach the child to “look at me”.  Rather, teach the child why you need to make eye contact and what information it provides.

When working on eye contact with young children, you can use “eye finger puppets” (available in most speech/language catalogs).  Use the eye finger puppets to engage the child in a game and to make the experience fun.  Have the eye finger puppets look at different things in the room.  Explain to the child that you can tell what the eye finger puppets are thinking about by watching where the eyes are looking, and that when the puppets are talking to another person, they are thinking about that person.  If you are teaching more than one child at a time, allow each child to have a turn doing this exercise with the eye finger puppets.  You can then have the children use the finger puppets with you as well as peers.

Next, practice this skill with the children by having them look at each other and explain what their peers may be thinking about or feeling.

You can also have an adult or peer make a face (being very dramatic at first) about how he or she may be feeling.  Have the child look at this person, and have him tell you how the other person may be feeling.  Reinforce with the child that by looking at a person you can tell how they are feeling or what they may be thinking about. 

As another fun activity, you could make face cupcakes with the children.  Have the child look at an adult or peer and ask them how the person is feeling.  On the cupcake, use icing, candy, gel, etc. to make a face that shows how the person is feeling.  For example, if the adult is feeling happy, make the cupcake face look happy by giving it a smile with gel. 

Just remember to have fun, be creative, and focus on teaching the child about the information he will gain by making eye contact.


 Social Skills - Personal Space Tip

An important skill when teaching social skills is personal space.  Many times children on the spectrum tend to have a hard time noticing how much space is between them and the person they are having a conversation with.  Teaching the appropriate amount of space between you and your talking partner is important.  When teaching personal space, it is important to teach the correct distance from another when you are sitting, standing, and walking.  You should not just teach personal space, but rather, what information your body can provide. 

Teaching personal space through visuals, modeling and role-playing are very effective strategies to make this a concrete concept for children.  When working on personal space with children, I have found that by placing a hula hoop on the floor and having two talking partners stand on the inside of the hula hoop (if it is a large hula hoop) or the outside of a small hula hoop gives children the correct amount of space for a conversation. 

I also use conversational feet to teach personal space.  Trace two pair of feet on construction paper. Cut them out and laminate.  Place the pairs of feet on the floor at the correct distance apart for having a conversation.  This allows the children to have a place to stand and teaches the children how to orient their body to another when having a conversation. When using the feet, model for the children the correct amount of space and the incorrect amount of space for a conversation.  Place the feet too far apart from each other and also too close.   Take pictures while doing this lesson with the children.  Have the children stand too far from each other (take their picture), too close to each other (take their picture) and using the correct amount of space between each other (take their picture again).  Make a book with the pictures you took.  You could title the book – Just Right Space.  Give each page a title for each picture you took. The picture of the children standing too far from each other can be titled: Too Far. The picture of the children standing too close to each other can be titled: Too Close. The picture of the children standing with the appropriate amount of space between each other can be titled: Just Right Space.  You have now created a key phrase: Not Too Far, Not Too Close, Just Right!!!!  You can also teach children that “An Arm’s Length Apart” is equal to the appropriate amount of space between conversational partners. You can also teach this phrase/concept for standing in line. This is yet another new key phrase you have taught your children. 

When teaching children the appropriate amount of space between each other when sitting at a table, you can teach them the concept of “an elbows length away.”  Teach this using the same approach you used to teach “Just Right Space” above, and reinforce this concept using “an elbows length away” as yet another key phrase.


 Halloween Tip

Halloween can be a very exciting time for children, but it can also be a time that causes high anxiety for some children with autism.  Having to wear costumes, having to go to people’s homes and socialize, doing something out  of the child’s normal routine and seeing Halloween decorations can cause anxiety in many children with autism. 

Here are some ideas to help your child have a positive Halloween experience:

1.    Read Halloween books to your child to help her become more aware of Halloween traditions.

2.    Expose your child to Halloween decorations in stores.  Have your child help decorate your home with holiday decorations.

3.    Have fun making Halloween cooking activities or completing Halloween art and crafts activities.

4.    Help your child choose a Halloween costume that is of interest to him.  Do not make your child wear any costume that makes him uncomfortable.  Practice wearing the costume days prior to Halloween to make sure your child is comfortable in the costume and to see if any costume pieces may pose a problem during trick or treating.  If wearing a costume is difficult for your child or causes a great deal of anxiety, then lose it and go trick-or-treating in every day clothes or a Halloween shirt. 

5.    Write a social story describing what your child will do on Halloween.  The story should include information about: his costume (or no costume), what the expectations are during trick or treating, how to carry his trick-or-treating  bag, where he will trick-or-treat – how many houses and who will go with him, how to knock on the door, what to say when the person opens the door and when he leaves, how many pieces of candy he is allowed to take, what he should say if he is not happy about the candy or lack of candy that is being offered, and what he will do when he returns home with his candy.

6.    Create a visual or written schedule with the nightly Halloween activities on it.

7.    Have your child practice trick-or-treating with familiar individuals and/or family members.  You and your child can role play how to trick-or-treat at your home, or you could ask neighbors and family members to help in this role play activity.

8.    If your child is having a hard time with trick-or-treating, make it as positive as possible.  Limit houses to 2 or 3 if needed.  Do not push your child.  Make it a goal for next year to go to more houses.

9.    If your child is not ready to go trick-or-treating this year, have your child trick-or-treat in your home and/or have your child help hand out candy to other children. 

10.    Role play and script with your child how to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.  Write down what your child should say and role play how your child should answer the door and how many pieces of candy she should give the trick-or-treaters. 

Practice, practice, practice is always key to success!  Have fun and enjoy the holiday!
 Thanksgiving Tip

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and for some children with autism, this holiday can be overwhelming.  There will be houses full of loved ones and friends, many yummy smells throughout the house and a great deal of sensory overload for all!

Here are some tips to try during this special time:

1)    If you are traveling with your child to a far destination, start preparing your child now.  Show your child pictures of where you will be going.  Discuss when you will leave and when you will return. Write a social story or use pictures with your child to help put in order what events will take place during the trip and what is expected during the trip. Making a schedule (written or picture) for each day of your trip will be key in helping your child understand what will happen each day of his / her trip.

a.    If you are traveling by plane, prepare your child by explaining the process of the airport. Show him / her pictures online of an airport if your child has never been to one before.  You could even take a trip to the airport, prior to your real trip, to show your child what will take place during the your time at the airport.  (Show your child the ticket counter, how people are standing in lines, how security works and where the gates are. You can watch airplanes land and take off.)  At home, role-play the process of going through security and going onto the airplane.  When you arrive to the airport (or you can call ahead of time), let the airport staff know that you are traveling with a child with special needs and your family may require assistance (preboarding, not waiting in lines, etc.).  Airport personnel will make accommodations for your child.
b.    If you are traveling a long distance by car, prepare your child for the trip by writing a social story about how the trip will work (the length of trip, who will drive, where everyone will sit in the car, when breaks will occur and what your child can do during the car ride). Make sure all your child’s favorite possessions are close by to keep him / her entertained.  Portable DVD players can perform miracles if your child likes to watch movies. 
2)    Thanksgiving in your home:

a.    If Thanksgiving will take place in your home, prepare your child for the day. Give your child a schedule for the day’s events. Write down what will take place that day and who will be coming to your home.  If your child is not familiar with the family and friends coming over, prepare him / her by looking at photo albums.  Let your child know that Grandmom may be loud or Aunt Sally may try to kiss and hug even though your child may not like it. 
b.    Make sure your child knows where he /she can go if he / she gets overwhelmed with the day’s events.  Have a quiet area for your child that is off limits to all other guests and family members. 
c.    Have your child help set the table or make some of the dinner to get involved in the day’s festivities. 
d.    If your child has food aversions, make sure he / she knows what he /she can have to eat.  You can work on flexibility by having your child choose one new food that he / she doesn’t care for but will be willing to try! 
e.    Prepare your guests (if they are not familiar with your child) the dos and don’ts of the day (such as: don’t wear strong perfumes if your child has smell sensitivities, don’t give your child hugs/kisses if your child does not like to be touched, etc.).
f.    Let your child know how long he/she will be expected to sit at the table (since it may be a long dinner).
3)    Thanksgiving at another person’s home:

a.    Prior to Thanksgiving Day, phone your host to discuss the day’s events, who will be attending the dinner, what types of food will be served, if the family has any animals and where those animals will be during the day and if there is a quiet area for your child to go to if needed.
b.    Explain to your hosts what they may see or not see during the day from your child. If there will be guests unfamiliar with autism, either you or your hosts could discuss this with them prior to Thanksgiving.
c.    Once you arrive, check out the house to see if there will be any problematic areas (toy room), etc.
d.    Find the quiet area and make sure it will work for your child.  If not, find a new one and let your child know where this is.
e.    Take your child around the house so he / she knows where everything will be (quiet area, bathrooms, bedrooms, game room, etc.).
f.    Bring your own food if your child is on a special diet or if you know that your child will not be fond of what the host is making.
g.    Follow the same techniques used as above (Thanksgiving in your home).


Holiday Tip 

The kids have the next two weeks off – Now What?  Here are some holiday tips to help your child have a great winter break:

1)    Prepare a holiday schedule for your child so he / she knows what each day will encompass.
2)    Plan structured activities and events each day, and make sure you try to keep your child on a schedule.  This will be helpful when transitioning back to school in the New Year.
3)    Avoid canceling regular activities. Try to maintain as much of the normal routine as possible if you are staying home.
4)    Make an effort to have your child go to bed and wake up the same time each day.
5)    If visitors or family members are staying with you, do not let them take your child’s room.
6)    If you are going on long trips, give your child a “mini schedule” for the day:
  Car, McDonalds, Gas Station, Mom Mom’s house
7)    Set up a schedule for the location you are going to be staying allowing your child to know what will take place each day.
8)    Show your child where he or she will be sleeping and where a quiet area is for a retreat.
9)    When family and friends are visiting your home, make sure your child knows where he or she can escape to when needed.
10)    Educate your guests about your child.
a.    Explain the difficulties your child may have during dinner, to decorations or to noise.
b.    Let your guests know how your child is learning to handle these difficult times.
c.    Explain about dietary challenges.
d.    Use this time to enrich your family’s and friend’s knowledge about autism.
11)    When family visits your home, let your child know who will be visiting.  Show your child pictures of the visitors so he or she can become familiar with them prior to their visit.
12)    Come up with holiday rules for those children who do well with knowing exactly what is expected of them.
13)    Write a social story explaining what the holidays will look like, who will attend, and what the expectations are for your child.  Use pictures from last year in the story.
14)    Help your child interact with guests by:
a.    Writing a script with your child about how to greet guests who come to visit (role-play the script)
b.    Teaching your child how to shake hands with guests as they arrive (practice, practice, practice)
c.    Coming up with topics that your child can talk about with guests
d.    Allowing your child to have a task when guests arrive (such as: taking guests’ coats and putting them on a bed)
15)    Practice opening presents with your child if he or she has difficulty with this.
a.    Make sure you wrap presents that you know your child would probably not like so you can role-play how to handle the situation when Grandpop gives your child a present he or she may not care for.
b.    Take fine motor issues into account.  Place items in a gift bag if pulling off wrapping paper is too difficult.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
 WISHING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY A VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!

Learn techniques and strategies such as these through family educational consultative services and social skills classes provided by Building Bridges for Autism, LLC.
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